I have never heard so much about suicide until moving to Korea. Sure, there were the occasional suicide stories in the news back in Canada and in Hollywood, but to so frequently read the names of celebrities, political leaders, and high-profile individuals in the headlines in apposition with the deadly words, “suicide,” was unfathomable.
“South Korean Ex-President Kills Himself” is one of the major headlines in the news today. Even if one were to survey this past year’s news, one would frequently come across stories of celebrities committing suicide in Korea. Committing suicide in Korea is really not an occasional occurrence.
But why? Is it that the preciousness of life isn’t valued any more? Is it a decision of the whim? Why am I coming across so many stories of suicide in this shame-based-Confucianistic culture of Korea?
I believe that my last question holds the key to scratching the surface in regards to the driving force of suicide in Korea.
Shame.
It’s the Power of Shame.
Shame (n): a painful feeling of humiliation or distress caused by the consciousness of wrong or foolish behavior.
In this Confucianistic-Buddhist-Asian culture of Korea, one’s consciounsess of wrong isn’t personal, like it is in Western-highly-individualistic-cultures, but it’s collective. As a result, when one commits a wrongdoing, one feels humiliation and distress from everyone – not merely from one’s own conscience. In psychological terms, it’s called the “invisible audience” phenomenon. Albeit, all individuals experience the “invisible audience” phenomenon from adolescence onwards, I wonder if it is stronger in Asian cultures because of the emphasis on collectivity?
Thus I believe that it is the power of shame that overtakes one’s own reason and well-being, and leads one to ponder the option of suicide. One cannot merely reconcile the wrongdoing easily. It is no longer a wrongdoing against oneself, but it is one that has been exposed to the world. To reconcile the wrongdoing with the world seems to be too big of a task, and without God, it surely is. As a result, suicide seems to be the best option for most people.
Now do I agree with my hypothesis? In a humanistic sense, I do. But in light of who God is, and the power of spiritual warfare in this world, my argument above is merely one point of view.
Sure, the power of shame is a huge force that drives people to suicide, but behind that, I believe there is an insatiable craving and longing in everyone’s soul for God. Now when humans try to fill that longing for God with money, power, sex, and fame, it always comes up short.
“Why is there this emptiness in my soul?”
“Why is there this emptiness in my soul??”
“Why is there this emptiness in my soul???”
“Why is there this emptiness in my soul????”
To not find the answer to this question, and to give up the search, signifies the beginning of death.
As a result, when individuals commit suicide, are they already dead? Have they already given up searching for the One that our souls long for?
These are my reflections…what are yours?
I don’t get the purpose of making the suicide so public. Isn’t suicide shameful too? Or are all Asian cultures included in the Japanese style ‘death before dishonour’?
I think part of the suicide problem is due to the collective philosophy, BUT the reason that Koreans may be struggling so much with this is that the collective philosophy as it was practised is not very practical in modern society. Korean culture went from being a hermit kingdom (of a more or less feudal society?) to a global player in the span of 50 years. The number of people the average Korean meets has likely grown one hundred fold from the Korean war to present. I think because the social environment of Korea has changed faster than it’s people’s concept of their environment they are having a hard time coping. How do you have an accurately gauged relational response to every one of the possible millions of people you meet, not to mention those like foreigners who are totally unaware of the unwritten rules to begin with? This kind of society inherently alienates foreigners, which for a country whose primary source of income is exports and must import most of their food, this could be dangerous.
In my opinion many Koreans are living with social rules and codes that in my opinion are ultimately impossible to uphold given the current social environment. As you stated,
“It is no longer a wrongdoing against oneself, but it is one that has been exposed to the world. To reconcile the wrongdoing with the world seems to be too big of a task, and without God, it surely is. As a result, suicide seems to be the best option for most people.”
This is my point exactly. The assumption of a relationship in this sense with the whole world is not a practical way of thinking. It sets up an impossible standard, which perhaps some people believe is not so impossible until they are faced with such a situation as you are mentioning in this article. The assumption of relations without real relations allows for many people to take advantage of other’s ignorance. Problems with nepotism in Korean society have been criticized in the past, and I think this is the result of a relational paradigm in a world where true and well informed relationships are difficult to maintain.
I think if Korea does not undergo a fundamental paradigm shift in the next few years it will be faced with two options regress back to being a hermit kingdom, or self destruct upon unrealistic expectations of reality.
My name is Carlos Ruiz and i found this blog on suisicide very interesting. I ve been reading the book Soul Cravings by Erwin Mc manus and it speaks about our human craving, i find love is one of the things our soul craves and when we fill the that craving with the wrong love we make ourselves vernurable to others and to our selves. As we fill that vacuum of desires with sex,power and ect; and we put our all energy and time only to know, the minute it goes bad we are left back to ground zero. However since we relied on that gaol and desires we feel some sort of shame and a big let down and we blame god.We ask how can god do this to me, it seems to be the only time when even people that don t believe in god, believe in him when things go bad, but when thing go good we say god who? When our goal fails us we feel some sort of inner shame and we ask deos anyone even care? and our conclusion is, no. So some of decide to isolate themselves and when we isolate ourselves we be come dangerous. Contact with the real word is not an option, its essential. God has created us for relationship. I realize the more we live disconnected lives, the more indifferent to the well-being of others. When our lives have no love in it, in some situations, we consider our selves not part of the human community, be cause we end up caring for no one, not even our selves. Some say we can choose two ways,self destruct(commit suicide), or cause destruction. I wonder what happens inside a human being for an ideology to become more important then a human life? I also am not the only one asking this question and sorry for getting carried away with the subject.
Doc Carlos Ruiz out!
Well, I gave it some thought, and it occurs to me that shame is injured pride. I don’t know Korean culture at all, but if shame drives them to suicide, then it stands to reason that pride is the culprit. This may be the result of over-inflated pride, or it might be a lack of a suitable alternative, such as a humble faith in God.
Then again, it might not be the motivator so much as the lack of an inhibitor that causes it. Perhaps the society is more accepting of the act of suicide, or its prevalence might be self-promoting by power of suggestion. Maybe it is a lack of fear at the possibility of Hell.
I guess that was just a wordy way of saying, “I don’t know.” Whatever the case, it’s like you say, there is an emptiness.
I have lived in China and I believe you are accurate with your description of shame and collectivism. I would add that “performance” is tied to that issue. This is revealed in the social and business world through outward success which includes wealth, powerful influence, and many friends. This is why I think the message of the LOVE of God and Friend of God is so powerful in transforming one’s relationship with the Father. That God enjoys us and DESIRES to spend time with us shatters the performance mentality! http://www.nancicraig.org/devotion/workers-vs-lovers-in-the-kingdom/
Thanks for sharing Nanci!