…a boy who puts shaving cream on his face…
…a girl who puts on lipstick and tries on her mom’s heels…
…a teenager who demands complete freedom, while still living at home and being dependent on his/her parents…
I am sure all of us can imagine some point in our life where any one of these scenarios (or like ones) were true. In fact, in the West, we all have this obsession with wanting to grow up and mature. don’t we? This obsession has actually led us to believe that “maturity = independence.”
However, is this notion that “maturity=independence” a hindrance to our maturing as human beings? If “maturity=independence” then, in order to reach maturity, doesn’t logic dictate that we should strive to become as independent as we can? Does independence really lead to maturity though? Real, deep, true, lasting, and holistic maturity? Or does independence actually lead us elsewhere?
Is our obsession with independence a reason why there seems to be a lack of deep maturity in adults today?
What if true maturity does not equal independence?
“We do not discover who we are, we do not reach true humanness, in a solitary state; we discover it through mutual dependency, in weakness, in learning through belonging.”
Jean Vanier – Becoming Human